The Worst Flops In French Cinema

“Belphégor, the phantom of the Louvre” (2001)

In the Paris of the year 2000, a mummy with evil powers gives birth to a ghost named Belphégor, God of the Ammonites. It’s hard to determine which part is more ridiculous, the special effect a la Garcimore and the hallucinating performance of one Sophie Marceau who seems to think she is actually visiting Zulawski.

“The Cabbage Soup” (1981)

Glaude and the bomb, two old farmers who are fond of the bottle, live far away from modern civilisation. One night, an alien lands in a flying saucer in Glaude’s garden. As a welcome present, the latter offers him a bit of his famous cabbage soup. In terms of awesomely lame, you can’t do any better. This movie was transmitted so often on tv and so criticized at each viewing, that there’s really nothing left to say to express our despair! Even the most dedicated collector of flops will stay far away from this one…

“The Daltons” (2003)

When the Daltons, Far West bandits, decide to rob a bank to please their mother, the problems just pile on….Eric and Ramzy are funny, let’s get that clear but as soon as the wide angle appears, the laughs are a bit more rare.

“Le bourreau des coeurs” (1983)

Vittorio, a small-time, cantonese comedian, dreams of being a movie star. After having won a televised contest, “The king of the cinema”, he is noticed by Japanese producers and hired as a voiceover actor in a movie filmed in Tahiti. Maccione is a star in real life (in the 80s) : but how did this one squeeze by? It’s an abomination which has forced us to watch the other flops that are constantly on tv, just to avoid it.

“Le Baltringue” by Cyril Sebas (2010)

When a secret agent, Sam, officially a dental technician, officially meets Guy, a tv series Star, the results are just as explosive as you would imagine! The first (and last ?) film by Vincent Lagaff to hit cinemas, we won’t criticise it too much. Trying new things is good for you, although this one might be too much.

“Cinéman” (2008)

A mathematics professor, Régis Deloux one day realizes that he has the power to travel into movies, where he can finally find the woman of his dreams. In terms of this movie, Yann Moix, the director, proved that he can sometimes produce misses and the primary actor, Dubosc, wasn’t able to save it. The proof is in the pictures.

“The Führer runs amok” (1974)

After a misunderstand, Adolf Hitler hires three French soldiers thinking that they are professional athletes. They are forced to play against their own country, at the very time when the football match will determine who wins the Second World War. One wonders what the producers were thinking with this one.

“Taxi 4” (2007)

After a 5 year wait, Daniel and Emilien are back for more adventures on their ever so unique vehicle. We already though that the third one was a bit too much, so the fourth…And when words fail you, and they will, the special effects will take their place, or not.

“Ils sont fous ces sorciers” (1978)

During a trip to Mauritius, two brave idiots fall for a local god’s track. You might well laugh at the scene where a puppet seems to float on the ceiling like a fly, or when the characters start to panic when they don’t see their reflection. Or you might just think it’s lame.

“French Fried Vacation 3″ (2005)

What happened to our beloved group 27 years later? Quick answer: the same as always, but worse. They meet up once a year, at the Prunus Resort. The deception is just as bad as the anticipation, but we should’ve known that, seeing as the trailer clearly told us “the same, but worse”

“Iznogoud” (2005)

Iznogoud desperately attempts to replace the caliphate, at any costs, but all of his innate plans fall through each time. It’s hard to replicate a comic book, even (or especially) for Michaël Youn.

“Now Where Did The 7th Company Get to” (1973)

In the mess that was June 1940, the 7th communication company of the French army disappears, camouflaged into the woods, but is captured by Germans. When you hear the word Saga, everyone thinks of Star Wars, the GodFather or Alien, but France has somme good ones to offer. The only difference that our sagas have an educational value, they are there to make sure people remember the horror of the Second World War. If today, we have (more or less) turned the page on our German friends’ history, it’s in part thanks to compelling works such as the “7th Company”.

“Camping 2” (2009)

Jean-Pierre Savelli, 45 years old, is going through a rough patch. He decides to take a vacation and go camping as the Flots Bleus site, near Arcachon. Making a successful sequel is tough, so making one without the primary actor is obviously an even bigger risk.

“Plus beau que moi tu meurs” (1982)

Aldo et Marco are brothers. After trying their hand at counterfeit notes, Aldo is locked up, until he is expelled due to the director’s exasperation, who lets him go on parole, for good behaviour. Zidane mentions it as one of his favorite films…yet another mystery.

“The Gendarme et The Extra-Terrestrials” (1979)

Cruchot and his colleagues fall face to face with an alien. It’s absolutely crazy from there, the movie pushes the plot to the extreme, to the limit of the cult film. It should be said that the premise of the Alien story makes no sense, it is largely there to serve as a base for countless gags by Louis de Funès, when he was in his prime shape.

“Druids” (2001)

Only a young adult at this point, Vercingétorix seeks revenge for his father, rejects the rule of the Romans and reclaims his rightful place as the chief of his father’s tribe. To answer your question, no, Christopher Lambert does not exclusively play in acclimated fils. It’s hardly as “Braveheart” as he would like it to be.

“Lucky Luke” (2009)

During a missing to Daisy Town, the place where he grew up, Lucky Luke, also known as “the man who shoots faster than his shadow” will cross Billy the Kid, Calamity Jane, Pat Poker, Jesse James and Belle. The re-appearance of the partnership that gave France “Brice de Nice” is not enough to breath some life into this attempt to capture the famed comic by Morris and Goscinny. The presence of Sylvie Testud as Calamity Jane and Michaël Youn as Billy The Kid doesn’t change that.

“Shut up when you speak!!” (1981)

Giacomo is unemployed and a fan of the James Bond universe, which he dreams about. Without knowing it, he is followed by secret agents who mistake him for James, a French spy who disappeared in Tunis during a mission and is suspected of hiding under a fake identity.